My first fasting experience! Self-discipline, Self-sacrifice

I have always been curious about “fasting”, but never found the courage or strength to partake in this experience. For those unfamiliar, “fasting” is to abstain from all or some kinds of food or drink, especially as a religious observance and is to be done with the object of seeking to know God in a deeper experience.

On Monday 22, I was having a conversation about fasting and I made the decision to test my body, faith and mind. Would I be able to last a week of fasting? Did I have what it takes to go the distance? I was going to find out one way or another. Here is an account of that journey! I honestly couldn’t have come to that decision without the support of a very special person. Not only did she encourage me to go on this journey but she joined along. Seeing that this was her first time fasting as well, it was comforting to know that I wasn’t alone. We decided to go 7 days while fasting for 12 hours.

Day 1. We fasted from 6 am to 6 pm. It wasn’t bad at all. I’m not a consistent 3 meal a day guy so I guess my body wasn’t too surprised. I did have to eat twice that evening in order to feel satisfied. With day 1 out of the way, my fasting journey had officially begun. No turning back!

Day 2. My good friend Thioro, who has been fasting for many years as a faithful Muslim gave me some pointers on how Muslims break fast. In addition to that I agreed to break my fast with her following Muslim traditions. ‘Iftar’ (breaking the fast immediately after sunset) consists of fruits, in her case dates and a banana, then a balanced meal (protein, starch and greens) and finally a drink (tea). She also encouraged me to pray, something I had made a habit to do on a regular base before going to sleep.

Talk about temptation!!!

Day 3. This was the most challenging day so far. The feeling of hunger had gripped my stomach all day. In addition to fasting, I went for a light jog in the morning. I’m not sure if that had anything to do with how much hungrier I felt. Only time will tell.

Day 4. My first real struggle with temptation came on this day!! I experienced hunger sooner in the day and the hunger persisted through the day. No only that but my wonderful sister invited me to her going away office barbecue with a group of Brazilians and Argentinians!! YES!! You read correctly!! And in case you think I’m lying, the picture speak for itself!! It was meat galore!!! Sausage, steaks, Chicken, you name it, it was there!!! Safe to say I was tempted more than once. “Just a little bite” I would tell myself. And every other person who offered me food would be shocked at me response.

Day 5. A most manageable day in deed. My initial thoughts were that this would get harder as the days went on. And you have to understand that I’m a bit of a foodie, so I never go a day without watching some food related videos or trying out a new dish or pastry. To my amazement, watching delectable dishes or even being around it did not bother me that much.

Day 6. I woke up to a nightmare. I had messed up my fasting by chewing gum lol!! Of all the tempting dishes that could have been a source of failure, gum is what my subconscious chose! Well needless to say, this was another hard day! But in the evening I realized what was the cause of my struggle over the past days. I have never been a breakfast person, so unlike my Muslim friends who generally will get up early for “Suhoor” to pray and have breakfast before dawn, I skipped it entirely. I was consuming a medium size meal ones a day and every now and then I would have a snack before bed. I believe that by day 5, my body was having a hard time adjusting to the one meal a day regiment.

Day 7. This day was like the previous two, extremely difficult!!! But this was the final day of my 7 day fast journey and my resolve was at it’s highest! I did complain a bit more than usual lol!

They are many challenges I never started, fasting was one of them. I am proud of myself for having pulled through. If I could give a piece of advice to anyone, it would be this:

“Our greatest challenge lays not in an insurmountable task, but in our minds.” The saying “what the mind can conceive and believe, it can achieve” is the corner stone of any success!

See you soon!

Truly,

Cedric Metangmo

“The challenge I never started” 2nd Book -Be A Man!-

Where should I begin with this book?

Today I picked up my younger brother from school on his last day and we started a 3 hour drive back home through the beautiful mountains of West Virginia. We had made this trip many times but this drive was to be a unique one. The anticipation of a conversation that had been postponed for some time hung ever so slightly in the air. This was to be a conversation between two brothers, two MAN. The question that kept coming to mind was one that I had just been reading about: How do we define ‘manhood’? This question couldn’t have been any more relevant to my brother and me. I, a 28 year old young man and he, a teen of only 18 years of age were right in the mist of this one daunting question. ‘What does it mean to be a man?’ In “Season of Life” Jeffrey Marx gives us a refreshing look at what it means to be a man through the life of Joe Ehrmann and his journey from a NFL start to his days in ministries and with a unique high school football team.

In my brother’s and I’s case, the question of masculinity can be view from two very similar perspectives. The first one from our African background and the second from the last 16 years we’ve spent in the United States. As many Africans would tell you, being born of two very proud and successful African parents and not to forget of noble lineage, there are strict and high expectations of the men in the family. These expectations were than strongly reinforced by our American society. We are expected to be strong, both mentally and physically; successful, both academically and professionally; and finally bring home a good girl that our parents can be proud of. Now to most these sound very normal and acceptable. I two believed those were completely acceptable… until I read this book.

Joe’s belief was that society has fed us three absolutely destructive myths about what it meant to be a man.

1. Physical power: athletic ability, physical attribute, strength…
2. Bedroom conquests: sexual conquest or dominance…
3. Checkbook: economic success…

Relations

Joe when on to explain that on our last moments in this world none of those things matter. Not how many basket

TORNADO-KILLS-BOY-GOODBYE-MAMA

you made or the cars you owned and the number of girls you had been with. None of those thing matter in the least bit. What matters is the relations. This immediately brought to mind a picture of a boy sending one last message to his mom before a tornado hit the house he sought shelter in. A picture that reflects so very well what manhood and life is really about.

But for me it raised an even deeper picture. Although I had been raised in an amazing family, I still wasn’t sure that my relationships had been cared for as they should have. I started to wounder what would be said of me on my death bed as far as relations go. Was I a good son, bother, friend, partner, leader? When was the last time I expressed my love and appreciation for the people I cared about? Maybe we should all stop every now and than and ask ourselves these questions.

Cause and Purpose

In this book we watch Joe and his partner Francis Poggi “Biff” live a philosophy called “Building Man for Others” through a young high school football team. With the premise that most social problems such as poverty, racism, crime, drugs and family disintegration were symptoms of a deeper problem in our society. “If we do not help boys become men, then we really won’t be able to fix anything else in this country.” This is as worthy a cause as any but to the dad’s and boys out there, I believe it must because more than just a cause, it most become core value in our lives.

Having lived in Baltimore for most of his life, Joe Ehrmann made a lifelong decision to pour back into the lives of boys, especially those of less fortunate communities. He had a set of belief on justice and I’d like to share one with you. This is in direct relation to the current state of injustice taking place in Baltimore today.

“Joe said that justice should always be examined within the context of at least three broad categories: ‘It’s relational, it’s economic, and it’s communal.’…

Communal: ‘Everybody ought to be able to participate in the community. When people are ostracized, when they’re locked outside of the community for any number of reasons, you’ve got to do something about it. Just flat out got to.’

He goes on to say: “There’s that old saying: ‘You give a man fish, and you feed him for a day. You teach him how to fish, and he can feed himself for a lifetime.’ But if he can’t even get to the pond, no matter how impressive his rod and reels are, what good are they? You gotta remove the barriers so the person can go fish.” (Pg144)

The African American community is crying out for justice and as men, it is a duty, a responsibility to stand for a just cause and demand justice. Too many sit idle and watch as this injustice continues to destroy the very fiber of our society.

Among numerous awards, Joe has been named “The Most Important Coach in America” for his work to transform the culture of sports. Take a look at this short presentation on TEDx.

Be A Man: Joe Ehrmann at TEDxBaltimore 2013

This book has opened my eyes to so much when it comes to what it means to be a man. Although aspirations to be in great physical shape, excel financially and score that dream girl are understandable, we must remember that those things alone don’t define a man. We must push our communities to have more conversations with our boys and instill in them the proper values of manhood and not those of social media. I hope all dads and sons out there will pick up a copy of this book and start a conversation.

As for me, I will continue to work on my relationship with my father and my brothers. I hope they know it already, but in case they don’t. Guys! I love you and I am blessed to be your son and brothers.

Till next Friday!

Truly,

Cedric Metangmo

“The challenge I never started” 1st Book

“Your Best Life Now” by Joel Osteen

They say when you ask God to lead you in your journey, He will always show you a sign that He heard you and He is with you. Well, I believe God chose “Your Best Life Now” by Joel Osteen as a sign. I know someone out there is thinking ‘well, Cedric you shouldn’t be surprised, Joel Osteen is a world renown pastor’. YES I know! As a matter of fact I have listened and watched a few his sermons before, but… here is why I believe this is a sign of God guiding my steps. This very book has been on my shelf since 2012 when my mother got it from a yard sale. From that moment on I’ve had it on my ‘to read’ list and to think that out of 25+ books I could have chosen, not one drew me in like this one. The second reason I truly believe this to be a sign was the title. “Your Best Life NOW”, you see I am a chronic procrastinator in recovery and just like this challenge, I have put off many things to an uncertain future and it was time that I lived in the present, performed in the present, thrived in the present, in other words ‘NOW’.

If you have ever watched Joel Osteen, you would undoubtedly recognize him in his writing. He is as great a writer as he is a speaker and vice versa. Through simple stories, he has the ability to help you connect to the message or lesson at hand. I must say, this is one the main reasons I connected to this book. I will share a few examples further.

In this book, Joel Osteen offers 7 practical steps to living at your full potential now. These steps include:

• Enlarge your vision
• Develop a healthy Self-image
• Discover the power of your thoughts and words
• Let go of the past
• Find strength through adversity
• Live to give
• Choose to be happy

I need you to understand a few things about me. I am not new to self-development and at first glance, these steps were just a reminder or a confirmation of what I knew already. For someone who had read books such as “Think and Grown Rich”, “Rich Dad, Poor Dad” and many more, I was familiar with these concepts and had even applied many to my life. Sadly, the stark reality is that knowing and applying it once only fixes a problem once. Many of us have a wealth of information, others may even have applied the lessons learned, but what most of us lack, what separates the average, mediocre from the world class is the consistency and discipline.

Here’s what I loved about this book, Joel caught my full attention early. Here was the hook:

“Are you limiting God?

When God puts a dream in your heart, when He brings opportunities across your path, do you step out boldly in faith, expecting the best, moving forward with confidence, knowing that you are well able to do what God wants you to do? Or do you shrink back in fear, and say, ‘that’s too big for me. I’m not qualified. I’m not able. I could never do that.’…” (pg23)

You see, when I read those words, just days earlier God had place a great vision on my heart, and I was extremely excited about fulfilling that vision in October, but after a short conversation about the project with a friend (that I still love to death), I began to unconsciously question everything and myself. You see, I had brought God down to my current limits even after having read ‘Think and Grow Rich’. How sad??? But it’s OK, I’ve regained my composure and ready to be stretched. Chapter after chapter I could see events and areas where I lacked or could improve.

Now I have to share this little bit with you. I thought I was the only person to have a really special mom!!! Well, Joel and I have one thing in common. In one of his many amusing stories here is how he described his mother:

My lovely mother Jeanne.

 “My mother has an interesting habit. When she is on the telephone and finishes her part of the  conversation, she’s through. She just hangs up. She doesn’t give you any time to respond…”  (pg216)

I almost fell out of my chair with laughter just thinking of the many times my own mother (I  love you mom!) has short-circuited a conversation just like that. That story brought  everything together for me.

Some of my favorite quotes from the book.

“Quit limiting God.”

“You were born to win; you were born for greatness; you were created to be a champion in life.”

“You will never rise above the image you have of yourself in your mind.”

“If one dream dies, dream another dream.”

“It doesn’t take any more effort to go forward than it does to go backwards.”

Yesterday is gone; tomorrow may not come. You must live for today.”

If you are anything like me, searching for meaning in your life, both in a spiritual and social sense, looking for guidance without that nagging feeling that religion is being shoved down your throat, than this book will definitely be a blessing.

See you next Friday!

Truly,

Cedric Metangmo